Are you experiencing a challenge in your life?
It could be a commute to work, an unkempt house, walking on eggshells in your relationship, or a feeling disconnected at work? It can feel agonizing. In hindsight, the challenges in our lives support our growth and help us become better people. However, in the midst of the challenge, it is hard to see the forest when you are staring at one tree. Think of one challenge or problem you are experiencing right now, this article will offer you some insight on a resolution.
I, like all, struggle with problems and let me share one with you. I am a new parent, and my little boy is three months old. We discovered he has some health limitations. Although we are hopeful, the worry, endless doctor appointments and internal doubts of my ability to mother have been substantial. I felt drained some days, so I started to reflect on my reactions in challenging times. Here is what I discovered…
Every single person on this planet has obstacles that feel beastly. Some folks can handle these moments with grace and even flourish in their challenges. The truth is – problems will creep up on us at various times in our lives. Whether we are conflicted with a marital issue, office conflict, financial limitation, compromised health or merely pondering a rude comment. Despite their captivating ability to possess us, problems can be resolved!
Resolve is found when we can shift our perspective. Victor Frankl, Jewish Holocaust survivor states “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” A challenge or problem is simply an expectation or idea that does not render the result we were hoping. It is perspective.
As Mr. Frankl pointed out, even the gravest problems may have a different meaning for another person. I remember one time, a co-worker filed bankruptcy. I imagine myself in his shoes feeling devastated. When I asked him his feelings he said, “I feel great and big sense of relief!” In that instance, I realized the power of perspective. Think of your current problem what perspective do you take?
Let’s perform an activity for problem resolution.
Here we go: Grab a piece of paper and pen and find a quiet place.
Activity: I want you to imagine one thing that is bothering you at this time. I want to you to see the image, whatever it may be (your dog has accidents in the house, you can’t make your credit card payment, you never finished your college degree). Now draw a very simple image of the picture on your piece of paper. Now I want you to draw a thick circle around your image and seven lines around the circle. The lines can start at the border of the circle and shoot out like rays of the sun. Label the lines 1-7, write the answers to these questions on each line, starting with number one.
- What is the first emotion you feel when thinking about the problem?
- When would you you like your problem to be resolved? (1 week, 1 month, 1 year)
- How will you feel when this issue is resolved?
- What would you tell your sibling or best friend if they had this issue?
- What have you done to start resolving this problem?
- What obstacles do you see preventing you from solving your problem?
- What do you need to do at this moment to feel that you can start stepping toward resolution?
Taking the first step to resolving our problems always seems to be the most difficult step. So actually forming a plan with even just one little step we are still moving in the right direction to take control of our problems. We are the owners and creators of problems, and we can take control and solve them.
I enjoy working with clients on the “problem” issue because my clients are often much more composed than they believe themselves to be! I can make a personal and professional guarantee that 99% of problems have a resolution and each of has the potential to resolve our problems. Let’s talk about it.