For fear of hearing something you don’t want to hear, you may put off asking the vital question: where is the relationship now and where is it headed? You may be the woman and be expecting him to speak up. Or you may be the man waiting for her to say something. Neither one of you budges. The solution? Share an uncomfortable truth to break the ice and reach a level of trust you didn’t have before. Put away the gender roles. It’s everyone’s responsibility to communicate. Then you will learn what you value in a good relationship. Molly Hillig Rodriguez, My Dating Life My Choice
Where are we headed? This was usually a question I avoided in the arena of love. I rarely even knew if I was serious or I just wanted the attention of a man. So, a lot of my pseudo-relationships (friendships, dating and even with family) slid into just long-term hangout sessions, void of commitment and communication. By that time I usually felt too uncomfortable to have the “where are we headed?” conversation, so the relationship just went on until one of us bailed. I learned the hard way, this pattern does not birth love.
Love in dating, in marriages or in families suffer when we withhold important questions. Withholding – what’s happening between us, are we serious, or are you afraid of getting sick again for fear of rejection or losing something leads to distance, confusion, and loss.
Fruitful relationships a born when two people step into their courage and take a risk, a risk for love. This includes the many forms of love, between two friends, a parent and a child, a couple or siblings. Real love means having the “are we serious conversation.” The moment when you lay your heart on the line and for truth and honesty?
It is never the wrong time to have a meaningful conversation. It is almost always wrong to withhold and tell yourself “now is not the right time.” What is the conversation you usually avoid? I feel you, I historically was a huge avoider of any conflict for fear of losing love. I had to learn to make mini-steps towards risks in the name of love.
If you are not getting the relationship results that you want and you are looking for real love, it may be time to step into this powerful conversation. Learn more about intentional conversations in my book – My Dating Life, My Choice.
I want to hear how it goes or what may be holding you back.